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Wilson and Tritter tell House they have worked out a deal: "I told him I didn't write those prescriptions."
"I spoke with the DA, he agreed to two months in a rehab facility in exchange for a guilty plea."
"Get out of my office."
Wilson tries to explain why this is good for him, "No jail time."
"Right, so I should get locked up in some place I don't belong in order to avoid getting locked up in some other place I don't belong."
"I got you on forgery, fraud and on drugs—"
Wilson continues to explain, "No sanctions to the medical board."
"Uh huh and you get your car back and your bank accounts and your precious tumour-ridden patients."
"I did this to help you."
"Next Christmas, buy me a sweater."
"You punched out an employee; you nearly cut a little girl in half because you were too strung out—"
"I was in pain! You need to believe that I've got a problem so that your betrayal has the illusion of nobility, but you just selfishly—"
Tritter interrupts, "Knock it off. Look, I don't care why Dr. Wilson is doing this, and right now it makes no difference to you either, you need to deal with the reality of your current situation. You want to stand on principle, you end up in a cell, and you end up never practicing medicine again. So you got two choices - your principles, or your life."
"Get out of my office."
"The DA put a clock on the deal. You got three days to decide."
Wilson discusses the deal and how House refuses to take it with Cuffy who says, "How long have you known House? Did you think he'd suddenly become reasonable?"
"I made the deal, it's done, you can either keep yelling at me or you can help me avoid a complete disaster."
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T-shirts with Houseisms
"There already is going to be a complete disaster. He's not going to take the deal, he's going to go to jail because he's a child, he's too stubborn!"
"When a child misbehaves, what do you do? You take away something he loves."
"We can't take away his vicodin. Not only will he be in pain, he'll start to detox."
"And we tell him the only way to get the pills back is to take the deal."
"He won't be able to function."
" That's the point."
"You going to explain that to his patient?"
"What choice do we have?"
In response to Cameron's attitude Wilson asks, "What exactly is your problem with me?"
"Hepatoma is a weak diagnosis."
"So this is all about the case?"
"What else would it be about?"
"I made this deal to help him."
"And help yourself at the same time."
"This is not about my practice, this is not about my car. I gave both of them up to help House, and I would have gone on without them if he hadn't almost maimed that little girl and if he hadn't punched out Chase.
"Was it an easy choice?"
"Of course not but it's right."
"Then why wasn't it easy?"
"Because he's my friend it's— obviously complicated—"
"It's complicated? When you decided to talk to Tritter your life got a million times better. How do you separate that out? How do you pretend your windfall isn't relevant to this decision?"
"It was the right thing to do."
"You pretending your motives are pure is why I have a problem."
Foreman finds House in Cuddy's office and says, "I get why you don't want to go to rehab but only an idiot goes to prison for being stubborn."
"Only an idiot stands between Ahab and his whale."
Cuddy goes to plead with House for help with the diagnosis, "The girl is dying!"
"So give me my pills."
"Take the deal and I will."
"You'd rather kill this girl than give me my pills?"
"I would rather lose one patient now than the dozens we will lose while you're in prison."
" Well have fun explaining that to her itsy bitsy grieving mother."
House, obviously detoxing (see image at the top) to Wilson, "Your plan isn't working. Two days down, one to go. Figured I'd show you how much it isn't working."
"Yeah, clearly the drugs have no hold on you."
House MD - Forget My Vices
Ringer T-shirt
"Can we forget my vices
and get back to my virtues."
From the Season 3 episode Merry Little Christmas
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"We both know that my pride far surpasses my instinct for self-preservation. You want to redeem yourself, give up now."
"And you'll go to jail."
"I've done nothing wrong."
"And you'll go to jail."
"Which makes this your last chance to do me a kindness before ruining my life forever. Nausea's bad this time. You write me a script for metaclopamine so I can stop puking. They'd give me that in rehab."
"Then you should go to rehab."
Wilson can't stand it and goes to Tritter to tell him, "I can't testify. Drug addicts hurt the people around them with their habit."
"House has hurt plenty of people, you included."
"He saves lives, people that no one else can save and no matter how much of an ass he is, statistically House is a positive force in the universe. Pills let him do that."
"Vicodin does not make House a genius, whatever he does on the pills he can do off. He is just not willing to try."
"I won't testify against him."
"Then we'll subpoena you, your previous statement will be read into evidence and you'll be charged with interfering with an investigation, and you will go to jail."
"Again, statistically better me than him."
"Statistically the two of you will be in jail."
House uses a prescription meant for a patient who died to get a drug for his pain - not the drug he usually takes and that doesn't go perfectly - later he gives in and goes to Tritter: "I'm ready to take the deal."
"That's off the table."
"The clock doesn't expire until—"
"Got new evidence. We don't need Wilson anymore. The thing about addicts, no matter how smart they are, they are dumb when it comes to drugs. So I've been keeping an eye on the pharmacy log, seems some patient of Wilson's, name's Zebalusky managed to pick up his oxy prescription after he died. Jesus walks huh? Merry Christmas."