Chapter 5

New York

It was half past eight when I came home. I was feeling good. I just sold one of my bands – folk/punk trio “Stinky Mushroom” to Alternate Label and had amazing sex with assistant manager of the company. Marissa was one of my repeat fucks you could say. Every time I had any business with Alternate Label Marissa was there. And after the official meeting there always was one unofficial for only two of us. Marissa`s lips are amazing – so complete and rich. She sucked my klit so hard that I could still feel traces of her lips on my cunt. I returned her a favor. She tasted so good when she came over my face. Her taste was still in my mouth. My pussy was aching a little because Marissa had fingered me hard. After five orgasms with Marissa I was still wet. The plan for this night was simple – masturbate a little while I was taking shower. Put on my new purple pants from Dolce & Gabbana and black patent leather boots from Jimmy Choo and go to Avalon. It was Thursday and it meant – new bands were playing from eleven pm till 3 am. And yeah – maybe former „Glorious Scout” soloist will be there. God, I still haven`t forgotten those fresh-blood-colored lips and deep blue eyes.
But it turned out that another pair of deep blue eyes was waiting for me in my temple.
Justin was sitting on couch in living room and watching TV. He turned his gaze to me when he saw me coming in.
- Hi. – He said.
I just nodded and didn`t say anything. I went straight to the fridge to get a beer. What the fuck? I have never seen my fridge so full of food. There was everything you can find in fringe in every normal American household. Problem was – my household never been normal. There was even fucking fish in the plastic bag. I was looking at it shocked when it suddenly moved. It was still alive.
- Ahhh... – I made a girly squeal. Fuck, I never ever squeal.
I closed fridge without getting a beer. I turned around. Justin was looking at me.
- What the fuck have happened to my fridge? – I almost screamed.
- Well... mainly... I guess... you can say... food... – Justin answered nervously.
Fuck.
- Food? You call it food? It`s the fucking humanitarian aid package! You can feed half of fucking Africa with it.
- I... I just shopped for a week. And... as you didn`t had any food at all... – Justin tried to justify himself.
- I had a food! – I screamed back. – I had beer and now I can`t even find it in that fucking grocery store what used to be my fridge.
Justin got up from the couch and went straight to me. I could see he was totally flushed.
- I put all your beer at the bottom closer to freezer. – He opened fridge, crouched and got me a beer. – Here you go. – He said, smiling nervously. – I saw some yoghurt cartons in garbage. I bought the same brand. I don`t know what other food you like, so...
I could see he really tried. Fuck – did he want me to like him? My angriness was calming down.
I looked at the top shelf where the fish was still lying.
- The fish... – I said. Justin looked up at it. – Either you kill it or set it free. There won`t be any food in my fridge what is still alive.
- Sorry. – Justin said. He flushed even more.
I went to my bedroom. I took of my clothes and finished my beer. I put on my red shower coat and went to the bathroom. But I didn`t get there because I saw Justin in the kitchen. He stood there and next to him on the kitchen table there was the fish. Poor boy – his face was doomed. There was knife in his hand. He put it in the air ready to kill the fish. But he couldn`t. I wasn`t able to hold myself – I started laughing. He heard me. He looked at me irritated and flushed again. There was this desperate look on his face.
- Oh, birthday boy... – I said through my laughter. – Jesus Christ, it`s a fucking fish. You bought it to eat it for God`s sake.
- Yes, but... fuck... She looks at me with those big eyes...
- Then why the fuck did you bought it anyway?
- I... I just thought... I wanted to make it tomorrow for dinner. Jack said you don`t eat meat...
There was silence for a moment. I didn`t move un Justin didn`t move either. The only one who made any sound was fish.
Fuck. Birthday boy wanted to make me dinner... Shit. It was so... Fuck. He was acting just like she did. He was trying to be nice, trying to take care of me, make friends with me. I never had friends and never will. Friends – it means to be close with someone, to have feelings for someone. No, it`s not for me. I have acquaintances, not friends. And birthday boy is just my roommate – nothing more.
- Birthday boy, - I said with irony. – One of the rules of this temple is – we don`t share food. If you wanna buy full fridge of fucking grocery – do it. If you wanna cook yourself a fucking fish – do it. But don`t try to play fucking heterosexual-house-hold with me. I`m dyke. I`m fucking pussy sucker! I don`t come home for fucking dinner at big family table. If I want to eat – I go to restaurant or order Chinese! Got it!
Birthday boy nodded.
- Good. – I said. – And one more thing. Listen to me carefully. Are you listening?
He nodded again.
- Never aim a target you can`t conquer! – I said.
I went straight to him, took knife from his hand, cut the head off the fish, gave knife back to him and went to the bathroom.