Chapter 10

New York

Justin’s POV

I don’t know how long I cried. Maybe just minutes. Or maybe hours. I felt Sydney’s warm body at my back and her hands around my shoulders. It felt so safe. I knew I was high. But that wasn’t the reason I told Sydney about Daphne’s death. Actually, I don’t know, why I told her. Maybe just because she asked. Maybe it was time to tell it to someone. Maybe it was time I broke my silence at last. I don’t know. It was first time I ever talked about it with someone, first time I cried about it with someone watching me.
When my tears ended, Sydney still held me. Then she guided me back to cushions. We sat on floor next to TV, our backs pressed against the big, purple couch. Sydney turned on TV. We didn’t really watch it just surfed through channels for a couple of times. Syd lit another joint and we smoked it exchanging the drags. Syd showed me about ten different ways how to exhale smoke. Most impressive was when she blew out two smoke rings. I clapped and laughed at her performance.
At some point of our evening together, we watched “Desperate Housewives”.  All day since she came out of her bedroom, Sydney was wearing just black panties and white “The Ramones” T-short. She was barefoot as usual. I put one of purple cushions on my lap and Sydney rested her head on it.
- Hey, she’s fucking sexy!
Syd directed one finger at screen.
- Gabriela Solis. I’ve always liked Susan better. – I said.
- Who the fuck is Susan?
- Wait… Here – there she is.
- She’s too fucking skinny.
- And look now who says that… - I giggled.
Sydney lifted her head from my lap.
- What the fuck are you saying – that I’m skinny?
I just smirked. I was too wasted to even try to prove that I’m right.
- I’m not fucking skinny. I’m just… athletic. – She said. – And chicks like it that way.
- Yeah. Whatever.
- And you yourself?
- What?
- You’re fucking skeleton!
- It’s not because I don’t eat as you. It’s just good meto.. metobo… - We started to laugh together. – Whatever is that word. – I finally said. – Anyway – guys like it. – I finished.
- Whatever you say.
- You disagree? – I couldn’t believe.
- Well…  - She just said and rested her head back on my lap.
- I’m fucking sexy. I have a perfect ass and my cock is very big for my height.
- I said – whatever.
- You just don’t understand it because you’re a lesbian...
Syd laughed out loud.
- Yeah, right. As if it means I’m blind because I’m lesbian.
- What are you saying? You don’t find me attractive? – I was surely high. If I wasn’t I would never ask Sydney a question like that.
- Does it fucking matter do or do not I think you’re attractive, birthday boy?
- Well…
- Would it make you happy if I’d think you are attractive?
- I guess no.
- Will it do any good to you if I’d think you are attractive?
- No I think.
- Then why the fuck do you care what I think of you? – Sydney turned her head and looked up at me.
- I… I just do… - I said.
- Well then… - She said and paused a little making me so fucking nervous and insecure.
Sydney turned her gaze back at screen and said.
- First time I saw you I thought – I would fuck him if he had pussy.
I sat there with Sydney’s head in my lap and looked down at her. Did she really say what I heard?
- No, can’t be… - I said and smiled stupidly.
- Just shut up. I’m watching TV. – Sydney seemed annoyed.
- You find me attractive. You soooo liiiiike me… - I was playing around.
- Fuck, Justin. You’re such a baby. – Sydney said still annoyed.
- You like me. You really like me. Even if you’re mostly nasty you like me. – I was so excited. Maybe because I was high. Or maybe not. – I knew it. And you remember my name. You just act like you don’t.
- Would you just fucking shut up already? – Sydney tried to make it sound angry but I knew she wasn’t. And I just couldn’t stop smiling. But I shut up. At least for few minutes. Sydney was silent too. We pretended we’re watching TV. But then I said what I wanted to say, what I needed to say.
- I like you, too.
Syd didn’t say a thing on that. She didn’t move, didn’t look at me. She acted as if she didn’t hear what I said but I knew she did.
So we went on watching TV, smoking another joint, going to bathroom to piss few times. We laughed and giggled. We talked a lot about nothing. It was night already but Sydney didn’t go anywhere even through it was Saturday and I’m sure she had plans. Doors to her bedroom were open and I heard her cell ringing few times. I’m sure she heard it too but she didn’t go to answer it. She was all mine tonight and it made me happier than I was ready to admit.
It was deep into the night when we were so wasted and sleepy that we forgot about TV. We looked up at the ceiling. There was a window right above us. We could see stars through it.
- Hey. – Sydney sad in low and husky voice. She directed finger to the sky. – If you connect this star with that and then with that bright one there you’ll get a triangle…
- Triangle… Oh… Yes, triangle. – I connected stars she had directed to and it really was a triangle. Somehow at that moment it seamed so very important. – But if you don’t connect those two, but go to that one there – I pointed my finger to the sky. – and then go to that bright one – you’ll get a square.
- Ohhh… - Sydney looked for the moment. – Yeah, you’re right. It’s fuckinnng squeeeere… - She said it happily. – But if you connect them like that? – she tried make connections between stars in the air with her finger. – What will you get?
- Hmmm… - I thought about it seriously. – I don’t know. What will you get?
- Welllllll… - She draw in the air again and again. – I’lllll get… I’llllll get some…thing…
I started to giggle and Sydney joined me.
We drew connections between stars in the air for hours I think. But I can’t be sure. I never thought about looking what time it is. It didn’t matter anyway.
It was the last thing I remembered about that night. When I woke up it was already daytime. I slept on the floor, purple cushion under my head. I was almost sure I fell asleep with Sydney next to me. She wasn’t there when I woke up but someone had covered me with blanket. I lifted my head up and looked at the clock on the wall. It was 1 pm. I had slept half of the day. I got up and felt a bit dizzy.
- Sydney. – I said loud enough for her to hear me if she was in her bedroom.
As I thought, she wasn’t. She wasn’t in temple at all.
I went to bathroom and emptied my bladder. I went back to living room and then I saw it. On one of the purple cushions next to where I was sleeping just few minutes ago, there was a small piece of paper. I picked it up and looked at it. It was Sydney’s business card. It said “Sydney Daley” with big, purple letters. And below there was Sydney’s cell phone number and e-mail address. I couldn’t help but smile.
After few minutes, I made strong coffee, took stand from my bedroom and put it in living room. I got clean canvas and put it on the stand. And I started painting.

Pittsburgh, March 5th

Lynn’s POV

It was almost 5pm when I parked my car in front of the Crowne Plaza hotel. Shit! How I hated jams, and they’re always there when you need them the less. Everyone was probably there already. Well let’s look at it on the bright side, at least I’ll make a noticable entrance! I laughed at myself. I always started babbling when I was nervous, sometimes it was just in my head, and if others were not so lucky, it was out loud. With Mimi packed in the guitar case, that now was on my back, I rushed incide. It was a nice hotel. Nothing enormous, though from what Emmet had told me about the lucky couple, they were some celebrities. Maybe they wanted to stay low, how spies would say. You know, keep a low profile to truly experience their special occasion. I smiled at the receptionist and asked:
„Excuse me, can you tell me where the wedding rehearsal is being held?”
„Right behind you miss, just go straight down that corridor and then turn right, there will be a big hall. Everyone’s already there waiting for you!” he replied. Well, that sounded encouraging. NOT!
„Thanks,” I just said and hurried away.
When I arrived at the rehearsal hall, I was amazed! It was huge, and so beautiful. Big crystal chandeliers, that probabably wighted at least ton, tables covered with white tablecloths. Even the plates and napkins were arranged. The only thing that was missing were the decorations, but I could easily picture them in my mind. White and beige orchids, or maybe roses, the beautiful smell of the flowers. I could almost smell them now, and...
„Lynn, there you are honey! What took you so long?” Emmet interrupted my fantasies.
„Umm, jam, there was a terrible jam...” I stuttered.
„Well, that’s ok, as long as you’re here now,” then he leaned closer and said in a lower voice,”that hottie I told you about, he’s over there, at the piano!”
I looked at him and said in a voice as low as his:”Ok, thanks for the warning. I’ll try not to drool too much!” And chuckled.
„Just in case, I’ve got that napkin in my pocket, just wink at me, if you need it.”
Then he put his hand on my back and pushed me forward. There were four other people in the room besides me and Emmet. One was a middle height man with short brown hair and black suite, and next to him was a beautiful blonde woman clad in a wonderful light blue dress. The other guy had dark blond hair that were put together in a ponytail behind his neck. He was short, I guessed he reached only to my shoulders. And then I turned my gaze to the piano. And almost choked! There he was. The man that Emmet said was the greatest loss to gay community. Well, in that case he definitely was a gain to hetero community. Tall and lean, he had a certain air about him. I could easily understand why Emmet thought he looked like an English aristocrat. His hair was raven black, like you could easily compose a sonnet dedicated to them. Strong jawline and a straight manly nose. Too bad I was standing too far away and couldn’t see his eyes...Oh shit, I was standing! I hadn’t moved. I looked around me, Emmet was smirking! He knew what my reaction would be. And why hadn’t I listened to him? Then a voice spoke.
„Don’t worry, I get that reaction all the time. Just don’t make it a regular, at least for the time we would work together!” the man said in a low baritone voice. I felt shivers running down my back. He looked like a hero from a 19th century romance book. I didn’t know that book characters were supposed to be real! This one certainly was. After his looks I mean.
„Umm, no, I...I. Wait! Did you say ‘work together’?” I asked still a little bit lost in my thoughts.
„Yes. Didn’t Emmet tell you?”
I looked at Emmet. He didn’t look back just rushed in to say...
„Oupsy, guess I forgot. Lynn, emm, this here is Sebastian Mannings. He’ll be the pianist. Jamison and Caroline wanted to have their own special song, and when I told them about you, they asked me if you and Sebastian could compose a song together for their wedding!”
„Sebastian, nice to meet you. Would you excuse us for a moment?” I asked the perfect image of a man.
„Sure, just don’t take long, I haven’t got a lot of time for this.” He replied. I could tell that he had already formulated his opinion of me. Somehow I got the feeling it wasn’t very flattering.
I took Emmet by the elbow and drew him away a little. Then asked in a low and irritating voice:”Why didn’t you tell me anything? I can’t work with that man!”
„Why? Are you afraid you won’t be able to hold on to your thoughts around him?”
Yes. „No! Of course not! It’s just...I’ve never worked with someone.”
„Of course you have, don’t you work at that small restaurant „Leo’s”?”
„Yes. No, what I meant was that I haven’t worked with someone when it comes down to music.”
Emmet put his hand around my shoulders. „Then now would be the perfect time to start!”
„With him?” I asked looking back at Sebastian Mannings who was now talking with the short guy.
„Don’t you like him? I thought you liked him, since I had to say your name three times before and shook your elbow to get your attention off of him.” He finished with a knowing smirk.
„That was nothing. He told you he got that a lot. And I certainly won’t make a habit out of it!” I said with a fake confidence.
Emmet just shook his head. „Don’t feel bad, Lynn. Who could blame you! I mean that man is completely gorgeous. Not even your brother could stand a chance against him when it comes to looks. That is, if Seb would be gay, which, again I may say, is a big loss!”
But I didn’t listen further. My attention was immediately thrown back to my brother, to our last conversation. A killer...Whad had he meant by it? But I couldn’t ask anyone. I mean I had, but Michael had told me that nobody knows what exactly had happened that night. As he didn’t say anything more, I knew I won’t get any information out of him. The only one who could give me the answers I desired was my brother himself. And I suspected, that wouldn’t be soon.
„Lynn, hello, what’s up with you today?” Emmet was asking me.
„Emmet, could we please start this? I’ve got a new client I have to meet after an hour!” Sebastian Mannings was saying.
„Sorry, Seb!” and then to me”Lynn, what do you say? You’re in or you’re out?” Emmet asked.
And then, I don’t know why, but there was only one thing I could reply. And that was:”Yes.”
I saw how Emmet felt relieved by my answer. „Thanks, honey! It will be great, you’ll see. Now come, show them all, and especially Sebastian, what you’ve got!” he said encouragingly.
Sebastian had stopped talking and was looking at me with a quizzical gaze. „So what did you decide miss Davis, will you give me the honour of becoming your partner?”
He said in a mocking voice. I could tell he was in high opinion of himself and in low opinion of me. And I couldn’t blame him. I was gawking at him just some minutes before.
„Why yes, mr. Mannings, it would be my pleasure!” I replied lighlty.
„Good, then why don’t you show us what you can do!” he said coming down from the small stage. And while he was coming down, I was climbing up. For one short moment we were close enough so that I could see his eyes – they were emerald green, my favourite colour! Oh, working with him would be hard. Did I just say hard? Sebastian sat at one of the tabeles where the groom and the bride were already seated. He was wearing black suite pants and a white shirt, no tie. He looked amazingly good. Fuck! Remeber Lynn, he thinks you’re some little amateur. Impress him, not prove him right. I smiled and got up on the stage, took out Mimi and started to tune it. I knew what song I’ll sing, it was one of my favourite. When Mimi was tuned, I stepped towards the microphone and started to sing.

I've been crawling
To the mountains
Skinned my knees with blood and hope
If I stayed standing
I'd be drowning
The rising waters made me choke

As I am getting nearer
My mission is coming clear

I know this road
Never seen it before
I know what lies behind unopened doors
I saw the signs from the distant shore
That I couldn't ignore...

I'm heading for higher ground

I left everyone behind me
I took everything I know
Half way up and I'm still climbing
Still a million miles to go

The water is drawing nearer
As everything disappears

I know this road
Never seen it before
I know what lies behind unopened doors
I saw the signs from the distant shore
That I couldn't ignore...

I'm heading for higher ground

And my foot slips
But I don't quit
And my hand grips the rock
Something pulls deep
From within me
Til I get there, I won't stop

I know this road
Never seen it before
I know what lies behind unopened doors
I saw the signs from the distant shore
That I couldn't ignore

I know this road
Never seen it before
I know what lies behind unopened doors
I saw the signs from the distant shore
That I couldn't ignore

I'm heading for higher, higher ground

Way up here, the air is thin
Feels like I could go so far

As I finished the last lines I heard clapping sounds. Emmet was on his feet. I was starting to think of him as my number one fan. Then I looked at Sebastian Mannings. He wasn’t clapping like the other ones, but there was a small smile on his face. And somehow I knew that that smile from him was worth more than a room full of loud cheers.

Song credits: Alexz Johnson - Higher ground