“You’re strong,” he said. “It won’t happen again.”

“No,” I said. I could hear my voice cracking as I struggled to sit up. “It will happen again. I’m going to be like Anna. I’m going to get worse and worse. This time it was bloodlust and hate. I wanted to destroy them. I needed to destroy them. Next time? I don’t know. Maybe it’ll just be craziness, like Ms. Karp. Maybe I’m already crazy, and that’s why I’m seeing Mason. Maybe it’ll be depression like Lissa used to get. I’ll keep falling and falling into that pit, and then I’ll be like Anna and kill–”

“No,” Dimitri interrupted gently. He moved his face toward mine, our foreheads nearly touching. “It won’t happen to you. You’re too strong. You’ll fight it, just like you did this time.”

“I only did because you were here.” He wrapped his arms around me, and I buried my face in his chest. “I can’t do it by myself,” I whispered.

“You can,” he said. There was a tremulous note in his voice. “You’re strong–you’re so, so strong. It’s why I love you.”
I squeezed my eyes shut.

“You shouldn’t. I’m going to become something terrible. I might already be something terrible.” I thought back to past behaviors, the way I’d been snapping at everyone. The way I’d tried to scare Ryan and Camille.

Dimitri pulled away so that he could look me in the eyes. He cupped my face in his hands.

“You aren’t. You won’t,” he said. “I won’t let you. No matter what, I won’t let you.”